I want to sound deep….

So i realized something recently,

I have been writing for a long time now. Speeches, diary entries and poems too sometimes, but what i have suddenly come to realize is i have always just written only about “what i felt”. Funny it sounds i know but let me explain. I have always been a passionate and compulsive writer, one second i have a whim and the other second i may be scribbling vigorously on any piece of paper i find. Sometimes the letters are pure gold, and other times its just another piece of rubbish in the garbage pile. i always feel like moments inspire me first, they give me things to marvel, I have this wave of emotions and Epiphanies out of the air that make me go whoa! and that’s how most, if not all, of my writings emerge.

For instance I was just cleaning the room a moment ago, literally. But this thought, which by the way i had after looking at my dusty laptop on the bed, suddenly made me think, ohh! why don’t I write anymore? and my compulsive self couldn’t let go of this piece of scribbling that i wanted to just write and answer my self in a way maybe. This maybe be shitt, it may be something good. But all i care is i wrote.

And this brings me back to the first thought I posed, I always write “what I feel”. And that means, I can’t seem to go the other way round. (This doesn’t really bode well with the fact that I am a content writer, But You’ll get what i mean soon)

If you ask me to write about something i may not be really great or at times even useful at all. I somehow can’t train my head to think about the thing that you tell me to write about. It just won’t bend that way I guess. That’s why i may have been an impulsive and an irregular writer with far flung interests ranging in between travel and food and everything in between. This is also the reason why I decline a lot of work that comes my way. Bad career decisions? Yup!

But this aside, I really want to write deep meaningful pieces you know. Something that people have goosebumps reading, something they feel will make them look intellectual while sharing with someone over dinner. Ugh! I so want to sound deep. I want to read more poems(Tried doing that. Couldn’t really appreciate), I want to pen a nice painful poem myself but my life is just so ordinary. Where do I get the pain to feel and write now? The most painful thing I felt last was severe constipation that almost made me cry in pain. I’m sure you won’t get intellectual goosebumps reading about that, right?

I guess some people aren’t meant to sound deep, and as much as I want to be that spectacled beauty wearing indie clothes, deeply kohled eyes and having a mine full of intellectually worded poems and thoughts, I am just going to be a whimsical writer who fancies the deep conversations but can still only write about the ordinary questions of life.

Yes. That’s me.

Welcome to my blog of the most ordinary things in life that you may read and also like I hope, but then forget and never share with anyone over dinner.