Peeping Out My Window

Every so often I peep out the window.

I see the green fence and an empty road, the shed, the hut and the sand dunes on the street nothing from this monotonous life has changed since the last time I peeped 3 minutes ago or even from the first peek I made a year ago. I followed him to Jaisalmer when he came for work, and even though I was so excited to  live in a desert there is nothing that can prepare you for what this city can bring upon.

Beauty.

In heaps and bounds. The vast sand dunes and the patterns of sand that hypnotize you every single time. The colourful camels and the vividness of the local attire and pagdis will make a permanent mark on your mind. Jaisalmer’s beauty won me over the moment I laid my eyes on her. But what looked so serene and quiet also created a violent storm in my mind.

We came here from a city. A city where I had my office to reach at 9am. Where weekends were just as busy as weekdays. I always had so much to do and so little time. And in that time we stayed there, I had become accustomed to life which kept running. No matter how fast I ran, I could never really catch up. It became a normal thing.

Then, fast forward to Jaisalmer and every moment was standing still. No people on the streets post 9am. No cars or traffic, nothing you could hear or see, every where just golden sands and a bright sunlight highlighting it. I felt as if I was moving on a speeding car and it had just been brought to a halt in a second. I had so much time, no work to do and no comfort of being around my friends. It was so lonely and so weird that it almost pushed me to insanity.

The only solace I had, was waiting for him to return from work and break the hurting silence. As much as i wanted him or someone to understand, I soon realized no-one really can. This experience was something only living it can explain. I accepted this fact but developed weird habits to fight them. And one such habit changed my perspective completely.

I started peeping out the window constantly. Involuntarily every few seconds my feet were up to walk to the window and peep out again.. Looking for a sign of life in the sun, looking for a white car to come home and greet me, I guess looking for anything to break the numbing silence and that’s exactly when these keen observations started.

The porch on the balcony had a water bowl for birds. In the last few years of my city life, sparrows were becoming harder to spot. But here they were still so common.

The evenings were my favorite time, It was when kids could step out and cycle around creating happy cheers that were like music to my ears. I started taking long walks and admiring the sky and the sunsets that were so vivid it almost felt unreal. I’m not much of a ‘clicking pictures’ kind of a person, yet the beautiful sunsets always made me click them.

I sat on our porch for hours, talking to friends in a long time. Somehow earlier I never had time for this, and now that I finally could, I felt weird at why had I been hating it so much?

Well, that day, I decided not to.

Slowly and completely I started falling in love with Jaisalmer. The harsh desert taught me to take a break and slow down. I could finally breathe and live a slow life. I could spend time doing things I loved, paint, cook, plant a garden, take walks, make calls and still be surrounded by the beautiful skies filled with every colour possible. Jaisalmer changed how I lived my life.

Sometimes, I still miss the city Life.

Having lived there for all my childhood and half the adult life, but what I have here is what many people spend years dreaming about and collect pension funds to go live after they retire. A beautiful place in the lap of nature where time stands still and you can hear your own breath.

A place where the twinkling stars still come every night and grant your wish when they fall. A place I only fell in love with coz I peeped out my window every so often.